Saturday, September 30, 2017

Bikini Closeout Sale!

'Tis the season to go rummaging through racks of swimsuits on clearance! And at the time of this writing, temperatures are still regularly in the eighties (if not higher), so you might even have a chance to use them! Although, unfortunately, all the pools have already closed down for the season. Nevertheless, I treated myself to a trip to the mall today, to try on some bikinis. Finding matching pieces in the right sizes is tough when you're picking through the season's leftovers, but that's part of the fun of discovery!

Much as I love bikinis, there's really little to no opportunity for me to actually wear them, except for photoshoots at home. But even so, they still bring me joy. I'd worried in the past that I was spending money filling up my drawers with clothes I can never wear, but I realized something today. I'd feel a little bit guilty trying on bikinis if I never bought one. After all, my fear of shopping in the women's department abated only when I came to the understanding that these are the clothes I wear. I'm not a stranger in a strange land - this is where I belong! So if I have to buy a swimsuit every now and then to achieve the legitimacy of "paying customer" status, so be it. I'll just consider it a "bikini tax" for the enjoyment I get from seeing how the different styles look on my body.


Are you ready? Let's try on some bikinis!


I liked this bikini. Such a pretty shade of green. The top was way too big for me, though - I couldn't find any smaller ones. Also, I've found that these bandeau-style tube-type tops - as much as I love how they're practically just a strip of fabric across your chest - don't flatter me very well, because I don't have much cleavage to start with, and they tend to emphasize my broad shoulders.


This pinkish/purplish suit was just adorable. I love the ruffles - so cute! Sadly, I could only find it in XS (extra small - there was also a pretty yellow suit that I wanted to try on, but it was only available in XL, and there was no way it was going to fit on me). I may not be very big (tall, yes - especially for a woman - but not big), but XS is a bit of a stretch for me.


Ah, the coveted ruched suit! I love this suit so much. It doesn't work on my body at all, but I so wish it did. Note how the top is comically large (I couldn't find anything in less than a D cup), while the bottom is comically small - it might fit around my hips, but it absolutely does not contain my "stuff", as you can see. Which is a real shame. I love the ruched look. It's so cute and flattering. I'd settle for a fuller front just to have that kind of framing for my butt.


This one was my favorite of the day, averaging both the style and fit. The top was the smallest cup size I found on the entire rack - a B. Still more cup than I need, but not so much that it looks out of proportion to the rest of my body. Plus, it actually does a good job of creating the illusion of a bust. Those cloth triangles you get with string bikinis are versatile; they conform to just about any chest size. But the downside is that if you're flat-chested, they won't hide it.

As for the bottoms, they're a small, so it's a snug fit (what with my package included). They don't disguise my anatomy (as few if any women's swimsuits can), but they do a better job than many of keeping me relatively contained, and the busy pattern provides some discretion. Plus, my butt looks great spilling out a little bit - it gives it some extra curvature. I felt confident enough to check myself out in the shared three-way mirror. Here's a video (I apologize in advance for not being able to hold the camera very steady - I was excited!):


So I bought them. I paid my bikini tax. They were on clearance, anyway, so they only cost me $15 all together. Score! I was so excited when I got home, I couldn't even wait till I cut off the tags to do yet another photoshoot in them, lol. Now, into the drawer they go...


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