Wednesday, January 9, 2013

If you love me, leave me be

I apologize if the tone of this post is unusually harsh. Sometimes it pays to be firm. It is not directed at anyone in particular. Indeed, I could have used this advice myself at another point in my life. Alas, it is inevitable that, as an erotic model, in the course of advertising a sexually desirable image for myself, some people may misunderstand my boundaries. For the purpose of clearing up that confusion, I think this post may be educational. I am an erotic artist, not an escort. I am sexually open, but not a swinger.

So you want to interact with me sexually on a more personal level? Ask yourself one question: what am I (not you, me) getting out of it? I'm not a prostitute, but if I were, I'd at least be getting money in return for my time. I'm not going to give it out for free. If I'm attracted to you, that may be enough - but for that, you have to be 1) a girl, 2) attractive to me (which is hard to tell unless you have pictures I can look at), and 3) have a personality/interests that are compatible with mine.

Chances are slim that that's the case, but if you think you have a shot, feel free to send me your picture (if you're a girl), but don't be too upset if I don't respond - I have particular tastes. Otherwise, there has to be something else I'm getting out of the exchange, and I'm not looking for sexual arousal at the hands of someone I'm not attracted to.

I might be interested in learning people's sexual fantasies for the sake of academic research (I'm actually interested in that sort of thing - what turns people on, even when it's not the same thing that turns me on), but from an intellectual perspective, and not necessarily a sexually arousing perspective. Viewed in that light, I might be interested to hear your thoughts and feelings as they relate to my image as a sex object. But you can save yourself a lot of disappointment, especially if you're a guy, by not expecting (or even hoping) that I'm going to be sexually interested in you the way you're sexually interested in me.

The fact that I post sexy pictures and I don't mind you looking at them doesn't change that fact. I'm an erotic model because I enjoy the craft of erotic photography, and also because exhibiting myself sexually turns me on. But that doesn't mean that I also enjoy interacting one-on-one in a give-and-take capacity with most strangers sexually.

That having been said, I am always open to making new friendly acquaintances, and to trading insights with other artists and intellectuals. I'm not trying to push anyone away, just confirming what my boundaries of intimacy are - the vocalization of which is probably particularly important for a person in my position, as a semi-public figure of desire. Thank you for understanding.

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